September 8th, Here and Now

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float

Attempting to sit in quiet meditation, before I got up this morning, I battled my thoughts. I was trying so hard to quiet my mind but thoughts of the day’s and week’s responsibilities were predictably attempting to swallow my attention. They started chattering at me non stop. “Don’t forget this, don’t forget that!” “You need to do that, go here, find that, call this person, respond to that email!” “You forgot that!”

On and on it went. :/

“Be here and now”, I kept coaching myself. Be here, not there, nor back then! The annoyance I felt while admonishing myself was making it worse. I had to relax first as the struggle was amplifying the chattering of my mind. Breathing helps. Slowly bringing air into my lungs and out, my body relaxes and the chattering stills. Finally after a few minutes my mind obeyed, quieting, submitting to direction, relaxing and succumbing to the stillness, being present in the Presence. Some days this is easy and some days it is not. It’s the days that I struggle, or try, that it is the hardest. Just stop struggling, be still and know…..I tell myself. When I let go, I float. It’s effortless. Why, some days, do I make it so hard?

Yesterday I tried the collagen in BPC. It held me a long time. I felt a difference. I did it for both breakfast and lunch. However, lunch BPC was a mistake. I felt myself crashing. By the afternoon I was dragging. I should have eaten real food for lunch. Today that is the plan. BPC in the morning and a real lunch around 11. I believe my body will tolerate that better. Did I mention I have a tendency to overdo? I did that with BPC yesterday. “Come on April, balance or you are going to go into a tail spin!” Perhaps eggs with spinach, a little grass fed beef and some olives. Breakfast for lunch works for me. 🙂

Today I have lost 12 lbs. I have 32 to go.

George will hit the road with me as I walk/run/walk B to school.

Have a great day world. 🙂

Cheers!

April

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