Good morning world. 🙂
Today is one of those days I am glad I meditated and had some quiet time before the proverbial &^#$ hit the fan. I came downstairs and noticed that two of my electronic devices were missing from my office. At first I thought perhaps my oldest son was working on them. He is a computer repair technician and sometimes he will check our devices and make adjustments or repair little errors. My second thought was that perhaps they had been stolen by my youngest adopted son, whom has emotional issues and severe behavioral problems. I would find that my second thought was correct…..and even more had went on while we slept. 😦 This particular caper hasn’t happened in a few months now and I am afraid I let my guard down and forgot to check alarms. (We live with a lot of security because of his behaviors.) I think my ongoing insomnia has a lot to do with his nighttime capers and an underlying anxiety that if I sleep, deeply, all “H E double hockey sticks” will break lose, because it frequently does. I suppose that is illogical because if it’s going to happen it’s going to happen. We have been living like this since he came to live with us 9 years ago and as you can imagine our health has suffered as a result of the constant stress of lies, thefts, physical and emotional outbursts and manipulation.
Recently I learned that even if a person is doing everything in their power to eat and exercise correctly the blood sugar will rise in times of a stress response. This is due to the initial burst of cortisol in the blood stream that occurs when a person reacts to stress. The cortisol causes the body to be more insulin resistant. So it takes more insulin to lower the blood sugar. The result of all this chemical interplay, i.e. stress response, is that the body goes into a state of “fight or flight” and hangs on to fat because it interprets the stress response as an emergency to be handled by burning glucose rather than fat or your own adipose tissue (fat). So, basically, if I react to the stress-or, the price will be damage to my body as a result of too much cortisol, circulating insulin and insulin resistance. My bodies ability to burn fat will halt or slow as well as it’s healing/detoxification ability.
So, that being said, being “calm” on the inside is of the utmost importance, for anyone. Stress will not kill you, but reacting to it will. I am afraid in my groggy state, with all the chaos, I reacted internally, a little. Fortunately not as badly as when this all began, I am getting better, but I know I need to get a better handle on this. I wonder why some soldiers can go into battle and not get PTSD and others do. I think, if I was a soldier, I would have been one of those soldiers that did come home with PTSD and I think I do have a form of that now. But, I also think I am learning ways to come into my center, calm myself and cope with a situation that does not appear to be going away anytime soon.
So there you have it. A glimpse into a day of what has been a consistent battle for myself and my family for almost a decade. Everyone has stuff. Ours is a little unique. I suppose, reflecting on what is good about all of this, is the fact that we have grown spiritually and matured in ways we would have never had the opportunity to before in our “comfortable”, somewhat normal lives. So that is one thing for which to be grateful for. It’s always good to find the blessings in any situation. They are there even if they can be hard to find sometimes.
I need to get my game face on. I have a food class to teach.
Today I lost .5 lbs. Took George for a walk today. It looks like it is going to rain.