9/29/2015 So where do we go from here? I don’t know. I suppose we just keep going.

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journey

Sorry no post yesterday. My day started extremely early and it was very hectic from the start and the pace continued throughout the day. I don’t really know how people can drive through ATL traffic during rush hour everyday and keep their sanity. The drive was intense! People were intense. Chill out peeps!

B had an appointment on the North end and what should have been a 1 hour drive turned into 2.

I actually slept all night last night. That is pretty rare. I was extremely exhausted. No amount of processing about a difficult day could prevent sleep last night. If I processed the drama of yesterday I must have done it my dreams and thankfully I have no memory of it. My mind needed a rest from the chaos and thankfully it cooperated. My husband and myself took comfort in unwinding together last night and not talking about the elephant in the room. I think that helps so very much.

Yesterday, it was comforting to hear that someone else saw what we see and live with every single day and isn’t more overwhelmed by it than we are. I have had such a prejudice against the psychiatric profession for so long and that was wrong. There are some “not so great” ones out there, that is true, but there are also some very wise men and women that have common sense and can read between the lines. I met one yesterday and if nothing else that was worth almost $200 and the trip. Wisdom and repose are such a good combination.

So where do we go from here? I don’t know. I suppose we just keep going. Remember, I have never been there and I don’t know anyone who has.

Meditation was good this morning. Learning to be the thinker, not the thinking and learning to keep people off pedestals and drop my expectations of them. We have experienced a lot of disappointment given our situation. That disappointment was conceived by expectation. We expected more of the people around us then they were capable of giving. Remaining aware of this I am trying not to step into the snare of resentment or judging their motives. People would do better by us or you if they knew how. Give them and yourself a break. People are only capable of functioning at the level of their consciousness.

(Taking a deep breath) 🙂

Overall, just learning, one moment at a time, and let it go. Some days that is easier than others.

I haven’t taken my blood sugar in two days. I have Pilates this morning with the best teacher ever. 🙂

Cheers!

April

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