So the last couple weeks of been very stressful. So much so that I have let some things go, like exercise, that I shouldn’t have.
The weather hasn’t been helpful as here in the South as we have had constant rain for two weeks and I prefer and am in the habit of exercising outdoors. That is an excuse, really, because I was lacking fortitude if I am fully transparent with you. Several things have been dropped, but not everything, not what is important, although it is very tempting to drop it all. I see a pattern in that while I need to surrender some things, emotionally, I end up holding on to those unproductive thoughts, feelings and emotions to the degree that I struggle to retain all of the good I have been adding to my life. I guess it is really a question of saturation. The condition of my soul is saturated like the Georgia red clay soil beneath my feet. As the rain is currently saturating the ground outside and causing almost flood like conditions I am experiencing something similar inside. Key to recovery is light and heat from the sun to dry things out and time for the water to soak in but the continuous deluge and darkness are so tremendous that what little bit of light that is trying to poke through is hardly sufficient to do the job. So whether I have the strength or not I need to hold strong to the Rock and wait for the light. I must persevere and endure even if somethings fall by the wayside from time to time. I have to recover from those mistakes and be gentle with myself. There is nothing gentle about my life right now so I will not add to it by punishing myself further . The only direction is forward and that is where I intend to go. Drying out.