10/5/2015 Monday, Monday

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Good morning. Not much to say today. I have a lot on to do this week and made myself a pretty hefty list that is growing longer by the moment. Heading to Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods today and that will be a nice distraction for a few hours.

I was just thinking about my expectations and hidden judgements regarding many relationships over the years. This morning I was made acutely aware of some of them. While meditating this morning I was releasing those to my Creator and choosing to extend mercy to them and asking for mercy back, not from them, but from Him, because truly His is the only pure form of love that there is and most of us, in and of ourselves are not able to do that for ourselves let alone anyone else. It is too much to expect. It is amazing what can be hidden in our hearts that we are unaware of until we begin to Be Still enough to hear. It is humbling and liberating. Mercy isn’t excusing behavior. Mercy is letting go of an attachment to exact our form of justice in response to an offense and surrendering the outcome to our Creator. At least that is how I understand it.

This week I will have to continue to act on a decision that was probably one of the most difficult ones of my life. The intent with which it must be done cannot be one of reaction but rather action to prevent this person causing more pain and destruction around them. Emotion causes the lines to blur so part of releasing this person this morning was crucial to continue in what must be done and remain objective.This isn’t easy. There is a lot of water under the bridge. Praying for endurance.

Blood sugar a little high this a.m. Weight not currently moving. Doing IF this week post shark week and hoping that will kick weight loss back in. Didn’t want to stress adrenals last week. Need to get back to walking. Looking like the rain is going to stop, thankfully.

Cheers!

April

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