A decision has been made.
So yesterday we found a therapeutic boys home for our son to go to for a year. Our youngest son has Reactive Attachment Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Attention Deficit Disorder. These mental/emotional illnesses stem from his time in foster care and neglect he endured prior to our adopting him at 3 1/2 and his younger 1/2 sister at 16 months. The fact that he is also drug exposed is probably not helpful either. He came to our home very damaged and despite trying everything we knew to do to help him he hasn’t not gotten better. The kind of behaviors that he exhibits are some of the following: Continual lying, charming people to get what he wants or frame his “innocence” when caught, manipulation, night wandering, destruction of property, theft, violence towards other children, triangulating adults, an attitude of entitlement, blame shifting, causing extreme chaos, disrespect, and a constant need to be in control all the time. For 9 1/2 years our family, the other 5 of us, have been put through the ringer. We have to have 3 alarms on his door at night to sleep and keep our youngest daughter safe from him. I have no idea what he is capable of anymore because he keeps raising the bar where these behaviors are concerned.
I am not developing any expectations for his return a year from now. If he chooses not to get better he won’t and we will have to figure that out in a year. This has been an extremely difficult decision but enough is enough.
I am looking forward to rest, much needed healing and hopefully, finally, some peace in our home. And now I need a job to pay for his care. I am looking forward to being around other adults because it’s been kind of lonely for Rapunzel up here in the tower. I haven’t been able to work because he can’t be left unsupervised and most employers are not real keen on you bringing your child to the workplace, especially those with criminal tendencies.
Thank you for your prayers and support during this difficult time.