“The Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself” Franklin D. Roosevelt
The messages I received, from my programming or cultural conditioning, about the nature of love, was that fear or worry was one way that you demonstrate love for others. I understand that the intent behind fear is often a feeling of love for someone but fear in and of itself is a faulty program and is not connected to love. I have been learning how destructive that “kind of love” can be, both to me and those around me. While it is wise to avoid danger, it is not wise to fear it. Here is why….
Fear and control are intimately connected. When people feel the need to attempt to control others or a situation it is because they are experiencing fear to some varying degree. The illusion being, is that if we fear something, we somehow have control over the outcome. This couldn’t be further from the truth. This is faulty logic. Bad things may or may not happen and being fearful will not prevent that. Sometimes fear may actually cause that “bad thing” to happen. For example, let’s say that someone is nervous (another word for fearful). This nervousness will very likely lead to the person feeling distracted and can then result in an accident or a poor decision and very often does. Fear is a liar. Fear gives us the illusion of safety but serves no productive purpose. Ironically, when we “sow” fear we will “reap” a harvest of many, many new things to be afraid of. It’s a cruel seed to sow that most of us are not immediately cognizant of until it bears it’s rotten fruit. Albeit effective for dictators, usually for a short season, fear is the most ineffective motivator known to man and sadly replicates itself through out generations in families causing great, great harm in it’s path.
Fear divides us. It opens the door to separation and closes the door to love and friendship. It is not a bridge. It is a wall. People have a tendency to fear that which they do not understand. What they fear, they judge (as opposed to objectively discern) and subsequently hate. Hate creates suffering. We see it every, single day in our world. It is like a cancer that spreads and multiplies. It is behind every evil act you see on the news or read about. We see it in our relationships. We see in our workplaces. We see it driving on the interstate. We see it in many of our religions.
Fear is what limits us. It keeps us from accomplishing great things that we know that we were born to do! It kills dreams and aspirations and it creates regret. We are all born with a passion or passions. Fear eliminates them. Fear extinguishes the flames of hope and promise like a bucket of water poured over a campfire and closes the door to possibility.
If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you‘re right. – Henry Ford
Fear creates chaos. No one can think coherently when they are experiencing it. It causes us to react rather than act when we should. It paralyses us. Trauma has the ability to shrink grey matter in the brain.( http://news.yale.edu/2012/01/09/even-healthy-stress-causes-brain-shrink-yale-study-shows ) It prevents objectivity and the ability to see the big picture and make wise decisions. It makes our world seem small, dark and out of control.
Fear opens the door to disease, destruction and destroys minds. Fear causes untold suffering. ( http://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/anxiety_and_physical_illness ) It is a tragic and sad way to go through life.
Fear prevents growth. It labels you a victim. It labels others as victims. It limits and it keeps people captive and enslaved. It has defeated nations and peoples’ throughout history. It kills relationships of all kinds.
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. – Plato
Fear isn’t love! It is the antithesis of it.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
1 John 4:18
Have no fear. It isn’t living. It’s quite the opposite.